(* for wildcards)
1. Red Sox – Smart, deep, and talented, basically the worst.
2. Rays* – Good at baseball, but also the worst, because they employ criminals.
3. Yankees – That infield could be the worst.
4. Orioles – Used to be the worst, then started getting kinda good.
5. Jays – Actually the worst, but could be better if they aren’t super unlucky.
1. Tigers – Will probably sign Stephen Drew or something because they know how to act like a big market team.
2. Royals – I’ve got a feeling.
3. Indians – That tonight’s gonna be a good night.
4. White Sox – That tonight’s gonna be a good night.
5. Twins – That tonight’s gonna be a good good night alright I’ll stop.
1. A’s – Some injuries, sure, but they do this (almost) every year.
2. Angels* – Rebound potential in the lineup, though pitching still iffy.
3. Rangers – Might pass the Angels with some luck, but early injuries hurt them worse.
4. Mariners – Need more hitting.
5. Astros – The grand, awful experiment continues.
1. Nationals – Back on top, baby!
2. Braves – Arms blowing out all over the place, could be a problem.
3. Phillies – The long, slow decline continues.
4. Mets – Some excitement, but need some more time.
5. Marlins – See above, except less good.
1. Cardinals – Really, really good, you guys.
2. Reds* – Losing Choo, but pitching’s good.
3. Pirates – Sensing a fallback with Burnett gone, and Lirano (probably) worse.
4. Brewers – A full year of Braun gets them closer.
5. Cubs – Building, but not there yet.
1. Dodgers – Way better than anyone else in the division.
2. Giants* – Like the Hudson signing for them.
3. Diamondbacks – Whatever hit the Braves pitchers hit them too.
4. Rockies – Not sure what’s going on here.
5. Padres – The least exciting name goes with what might be the least exciting team (non-Jays division).