The one where I talk about worry

I turn 28 today. In just under five hours, if I’m counting.

Sometime after that, my brother and I are taking off for Fairmont, to spend a week away. Doing… well, pretty much anything. We’re awful tourists, we haven’t really decided a lot, outside of at least one trip to the hot springs and copious amounts of time outdoors SOMEWHERE.

This is the first vacation away I’ve taken in a long, long while, and it became fairly apparent over the last few weeks how much I needed the break from everything. My work has not been sharp, and I’ve found myself less patient, and more prone to distraction. I’m dwelling on things- something I’ve always done, but it seems more affecting when I’m on edge. Even my off hours have felt stressful, in some ways… At work, I’m worrying about my life, and at home, I’m worrying about work. It hasn’t been a good combination. I doubt I’m the only one who struggles with separation of work and life, and finding the balance that leads to a healthy routine from day to day. Maybe I’m learning how.

A lot has changed for me over the last couple of years… for someone who spends a lot of time reflecting and thinking, I don’t know if I’ve really grasped that. Really stepped back and said, “Look at this. Look at what’s happened, how you’ve changed.”

As much as anything, I’ve felt like I need to disengage from the routine for a bit to get my head straight. This sounds strange, coming from a life I have, that by all measures, is very successful, and an easy place to be content in. This isn’t to say that I’m unhappy. Not at all, I count my blessings quite regularly. More that something… isn’t quite where it should be.

I may write more on this time away, or I may not write. Time will tell.


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