So I skied for the first time last Friday, breaking a 27 year streak of having not done it. My first thought was I wished I’d done it when I was younger- less moving parts on the body to screw up in learning the motions.
Ended up going to Canmore for the New Year with several good friends (a thanks to Rob, Kristen and Kim, who brought food so we weren’t eating out all the time- and ‘Drew for the beverages), and the weekend after, and was glad I did. There’s an odd desire to make New Years memorable, on the heels of Christmas, and this is one I’m sure I’ll recall for some time down the road.
I was ambivalent about going for a while- partly because my twin brother Dennis wasn’t coming with me, and this would mark the first year that I hadn’t counted down to midnight with him that I could recall (just leaving open the possibility that it happened before, but I don’t believe that it has).
I talked some about growing up and moving into adulthood before, and part of that has been the acceptance of the thought that there has been and will be times I don’t see or hang out with Dennis as often as we used to. And eventually, that there will be a day when we go on with our separate lives, apart from each other. Even now, we’re independent in the same living space- down the hall, or doing separate activities in the living room. We’ve become different people in a lot of ways, but still so similar in others.
This isn’t to say that I won’t be happy for him when he finds happiness in things away from me, gets into a relationship, and eventually gets married. But in that, there will be a twinge of sadness and nostalgia, missing what we had. Some of me wonders if that’s childish, but I don’t think it is.
Another thing I’ve come to appreciate more as I’ve grown up is how bad times make the good times memorable- and in some cases, that you can’t have one without the other. Whether that’s recalling the hardship and effort it took you to attain a goal that you may have thought beyond your reach, or in the middle of celebrating New Years with friends, that you think of one you left behind.
P.S. Doesn’t matter how tired you are/will be, you suck it up for New Years, right? I do.