Love during wartime

If something doesn’t work, was it wrong for you to try it? Does that mean your effort is wasted?

I’ve had that debate on different subjects recently, one that comes to mind immediately is poker. There are players that Dennis watches on TV who react badly if they lose a hand, or if they get beaten by someone who played with worse cards. My instinctive reaction is irritation at that sort of person- isn’t that the appeal of poker? That there is an element of luck involved, that allows David to occasionally beat Goliath?

It’s possible to do the correct, right thing and have it not work. This is a sobering reality, sometimes, and I’ve had to learn it on several occasions.

There was irony in me winning our poker games on Friday for several reasons, not the least of which was that it’s the luck of poker that appeals to me (and the fact that I was probably the worst player at the table by a country mile, which is neither here nor there). I don’t always play the strongest hands, and relish the idea of winning against the odds. I think that’s a part of me that enjoys writing, too, expressing myself in flawed characters, in moral dilemmas that intrigue me and engage my mind, in a universe where the consequences of the dilemma only exist when I have my fingers to the keyboard. In writing the underdog winning every once in a while.

Again, one might wish that this happened as such in real life, but it doesn’t always, despite our best intentions and efforts. In times like this, it’s easy to drown in our personal hardship, when we’re living in incredible wealth and excess. But you don’t always see the big screen TV, or the incredible friends and family who keep you upright through these difficult times. Thanks to all of you, by the way, you’re far too good to me.

Dennis and I have a house now.  Apparently I’ll be broke for the rest of my life… and people are congratulating me about this. Does that seem right to you?