I like car chats, just talking with people on the way to a place. With the right people, riding in a car is an experience difficult to duplicate. For whatever reason, I feel liberated, comfortable there expressing myself, in the right circumstance.
Never a full car, either- one person, the right person, riding shotgun or driving you somewhere. I’m glad I have a lot of friends that qualify on that front, people who would be good in a ‘car’ conversation.
I had one of those tonight- a bit of a cleansing, if you will. I was able to talk about things I wouldn’t have done otherwise, and I felt better afterwards.
I had one of those a couple of weeks ago, driving with someone that I normally wouldn’t have. Someone I respect tremendously, but have rarely interacted with in a one-on-one situation. That, too, was cathartic, in a number of ways, and something I appreciated more than I said then (or say now). Even when just listening, it’s more intimate, in a lot of ways, than I ever am in normal speech.
I’m someone who doesn’t forgive himself easily, but I’ve started to, in one particular case. Assigning blame is ultimately a fruitless exercise, especially on one’s self- learning and moving on is better. Easier said that done, to be sure, but holding a grudge- against myself, or someone else- isn’t productive. I’ve made mistakes, to be sure, but to dwell on them won’t accomplish anything. Right?
Sorry about being obscure, but that’s mostly intentional. It’s one of the struggles I have with blogging- how much to say about my life when there’s actual people involved (especially when said people could be reading it), and how much to keep under a cloak of anonymity .
Like any journalist, I’m protecting my sources. At least, that’s what I tell myself. And I like to think I’m expressing my thoughts without attempting to paint it in a particular light other than my own- this is what I think, independent of what you might or might not know. We’re all imperfect, especially me.
This is starting to not make sense to me, which is a sure sign to tie it off.