Someone explained the term “freewriting” to me last night in a chat. Essentially, it’s to just write without worrying about what it’s about, where it’s supposed to go, or any kind of structure like that.
When she brought it up, it made me realize that I do miss blogging, since that was, in part, the purpose of this (outside of an easier way for me to communicate with the outside world than one-on-one conversations that I have occasional trouble with).
Like before, I’m not promising anything, other than the occasional release of a rambling mind.
I start classes again on Monday. That hasn’t quite sunk in.
I’m MCing a wedding reception tomorrow. That hasn’t either, despite the amount of time I’ve spent this week in preparation for it. I’m not nervous, or anxious, or worried. I don’t know if I’m completely confident (some of the names are still throwing me, but I’ll get ’em), but I’m not stressing over it. I think that’s good, but I’m not sure.
The New Year has a way of bringing a reflective mood on one. I’ve never been much for resolutions, though whether that’s a function of distaste or a way of avoiding disappointment if/when I don’t reach them is something I haven’t determined. Though I’m thinking a lot, so I don’t need a new year to look back and see the things I’d like to do differently.
Someone threw a cold splash of water on a particular problem recently. It was jarring, and I found myself at a loss for words in the conversation. Intellectually, I knew what they were saying was right. That I couldn’t really sit and let this ‘thing’ continue to fester. But as I’ve said before, knowing what to do and actually doing it are two different things for me- especially someone like me, prone to overthinking and working all the angles, to the point where actual action can become so overwhelming as to paralyze. I don’t seek to justify or rationalize this paralysis, just explain it.
We may be coming to a decision point on that, though, so we’ll see what happens.
Should be a good reception tomorrow.