I’m having one of those times. I can’t really say day, or week, or month, because I’m not sure which is accurate (and they all might be).
One of those times when you want to just throw a wrench into the works and make things stop for a bit so you can catch up. I’ve felt like that for a while.
Things are happening, changing, growing all around me, and I often feel like I’m standing still. I fight this, of course, knowing it’s my instinctive aversion to change combining with my own often low self-image. And comparison is a dangerous game, especially when dealing with one’s self esteem. Even me and my overly analytical, missing-dollars-for-dimes brain knows THAT.
I had a conversation with Dennis on the ride home after church Saturday. A real, genuine conversation about a particular struggle, that we should probably do more often than we do. A conversation that doesn’t happen a lot when things get ‘busy’ or we get too wrapped up in the day-to-day to really invest in the people around us.
I think that’s part of it- I feel like I’m getting too involved in the ‘day-to-day’ stuff and trying to be on top of everything that’s happening that I’m losing that, in some ways. That when I ask “How’s it going?” I’m not always sure if I want to hear the answer.
Change is the one constant of life, of course, and one man’s stubborn defiance won’t change that. I’ve been through enough to know that, and know all about change allowing a person to grow, and discover exciting new things and experiences.
You’ll just have to pardon me if I’m reaching for the pause button every now and again.