Incidentally, I have a news item to relate- an exclusive, no less. I can safely say you won’t find this anywhere else.
LOCAL MAN BECOMES MEMBER OF CONSERVATIVE PARTY
LIBERALS LAMENT AT MISSED OPPURTUNITY
The Canadian political
community was abuzz today with the news that Dennis Church, a recent University
of Calgary graduate with a degree in political science, became a
card-carrying member of the Conservative Party of Canada.
Conservative leader Stephen
Harper was excited. “We are very pleased to have Mr. Church alongside
us as we fight the good fight for all Canadians,” he said. “With his
connection to the East, uncompromising ideals, and uncanny knack for
making Kraft Dinner, we can give Canadians the responsible government
that they want. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say he could be
the difference for us in the next election.”
Prime Minister Paul Martin tried to brush it off. “He’s one man,” he
said, waving an arm dismissively. “He can’t make a difference. So what
if he’s honest, forthright, intelligent, and might actually know how to
spend money? None of those qualities would make him an effective
Our sources suggest, however, that the Liberals are reeling from the
news- and most of their caucus have started to update their resumes.
Rumor has it Belinda Stronach is already trying to find a way to switch
sides (again). But rest assured, that sort of duplicity would
certainly not get past the Conservative’s newest member, who is as
modest as he is insightful.
When pressed for comment, Church said: “Meh. It’s a card.”