Second sick day in seven months today. You, the reader, are the beneficiary. Feel privileged.

It’s more fatigue than anything. Too many late nights and early
mornings, though Ultimate last night was really, really good for me.
Even though we had to call it early on account of darkness.

Got the weekend off, and they’ve fixed the sked for next week, so it’ll be better by then. (insert cynical remark here)

So, a buddy at work (who shall be named ‘Haircut’ for the duration of this entry) used chatspeak
on a note he left for the manager
(putting lol” at the end of it). Of course, I could not let that
blatant abuse of the English language go unpunished, so I added
“OMGWTHBBQPIE” to said lol. And then, the next day, Haircut chews me
out for it (The rest of the boys in produce thought it was hilarious,
though they were immune to the reasoning behind it).

My response was stolen,
but still gold: “Miss, we’ve discussed this. The crude truncation of
the lower classes.”  As he stared blankly, and I laughed heartily
inside, I explained myself.
 
I hate chatspeak. I’ve learned to tolerate chatspeak on the internet, since it is a
medium born of convinience. And let’s face it, not everyone can type
60-90 words a minute. I use it myself on occasion, but I usually prefer a more
specific wording. I can usually get out a ‘BRB’ before diving for the
telephone, as an example, and throw in the old LOL or ROFL, but that’s about the extent of it.

But people are dumb enough as it is. We don’t
need more chatspeak. Leave it in the chatrooms, where people can be as dumb as they want.

Yeah, I’m a spelling/grammar nazi. So sue me. No spelling for you!

And now, the preceding blog entry, translated using the AOLer Translator:

SECOND SIK DAY IN SEVEN MONTHS 2DAY!!!1 OMG WTH LOL U TEH REAEDR R DA BN3FICIARY1!1!!1!! OMG LOL FEL PRIVIELGAD
ITS!!1! LOL MORA FATIGUE THAN ANYTHNG1!!1!! OMG LOL 2 MANY LAET NIGHTS
AND AARLY MORNNGS THOUGH ULTIMAET LAST NIGHT WAS RILLY RILLY GOD FOR
M31!!!!!!1 OMG WTH EVEN THOUGH WA HAD 2 CAL IT AARLY ON ACOUNT OF
DARKNES
GOT!1!!!11 WTH TEH WEKEND OF AND THAYVE FIEXD DA SK3D FOR NAXT WEK SO
ITL B BT3R BY TH3N!1!1!111 WTH (INS3RT CYNICAL REMARK H3RA)
SO A BUDY AT WORK (WHO SHAL B NMAD HARECUT FOR TEH DURATION OF THIS
ANTRY) USED CHATSPAAK ON A NOTA HA LAFT FOR TEH MANAEGR (PUTNG LOL AT
TEH AND OF IT)!!1!1 WTH OF COURS3 I CUD NOT L3T TAHT BLATANT ABUS3 OF
TEH ENGLISH LANGUAEG GO UNPUNISHED SO I ADED OMGWTHBQPEI 2 SADE
LOL!!!111!! AND THEN TEH NEXT DAY HARECUT CHEWS ME OUT FOR IT TEH R3ST
OF TEH BOYS IN PRODUC3 THOUGHT IT WAS HILARIOUS THOUGH THAY W3R3 IMUNE
2 DA R3ASONNG BHIND MAH!111! OMG LOL RESPONSE WAS S2L3N BUT STIL GOLD
MIS WAV3 DISCUSED THIS1!11 OMG LOL TEH CRUDE TRUNCATION OF TEH LOW3R
CLASAS1!11!1!1 OMG WTH AS HE STAERD BLANKLY AND I LAUGH3D HEARTILY
INSIED I AXPLANE3D MYS3LF
11!!!!1 OMG WTH
IVE LAARNED 2 2L3RAET CHATSP3AK ON DA INT3RNAT SINCE IT IS A MEDIUM
BORN OF CONVINEINC31111!1 WTH AND LATS FAEC IT NOT EVERYON3 CAN TYP3
60-90 WORDS A MINUTE!!11!1! WTH LOL I US3 IT MYSELF ON OCASION BUT I
USUALY PREFAR A MORE SPACIFIC WORDNG1!1!!! OMG WTH LOL I CAN USUALY G3T
OUT A BRB BFORE DIVNG FOR TEH TELAPHONE AS AN EXMPLA
BUT1!1!!!! OMG LOL PEOPL3 R DUMB 3NOUGH AS IT IS!1!!!!! OMG LOL W3 DONT NED MORA CHATSPEAK
YAAH1!!11!! OMG LOL IMM A SP3LNG/GRMMAR NAZI1!11 WTH LOL SO SUE ME!!1!!1 OMG LOL NO SPELNG FOR U1!!1!!!! OMG

Aaaaaaand, that’s a wrap. I get a headache reading the translation, so I’m going to bed.

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8 thoughts on “

  1. atomic_spirituality

    So for those uf us who are just beginning to figure out how to “chat”, could you translate “OMGWTHBBQPIE”?
    …or am I really, REALLY showing how ignorant (and immune to sarcasm) I am?

  2. Shnuff

    OMG = Oh My GodWTH = What the HeckBBQ = well… you figure it out.PIE = yeah. By now, I’m just adding things on.It’s a word I often use to mock people who use chatspeak a lot. It’s subtle… like a brick upside the head.-DaveC

  3. Anonymous

    Oh my god what the heck barbeque pie? Yeah…that’s definately a word worthy to mock with.Did I even just make any sense?

  4. no_wings

    I hate e-mail talk especially because the English language is always evolving and very soon it will be incorporated into Webster’s dictionary (Darn AMERICAN dictionary! It contains the words Macarena and chillaxin’!). In any case even the word “ain’t” has officially become part of English vernacular in Webster’s latest. All of the great poets (Chaucer[despite his lack of spelling ability], Yates[yeah, I spelt his name wrong], Browning, and others) would roll over in their graves. Oh, and my English professors forbade us from ever buying a Webster’s dictionary. Actually, one of them encouraged us to buy a PARTICULAR Webster’s dictionary that requires a magnifying glass to read the words. My goodness.

  5. Emmetovich

    Chillaxin’ is a perfectly cromulent word.And don’t forget, a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.While we’re talking about it, I had an MSN conversation with Shawn yesterday in English, Spanish, German, and Ebonics. I’m not saying much of it made sense, but we did converse for quite some time.

  6. i_fly_free

    *slips silently away*  I have found myself using chatspeak in letters i write, *hangs head in shame*  Can you ever forgive me if i try to do better?  If its any consolation i do know how to spell and when your in a chat room with a hundred pm windows open you need to be quick

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