I am alive, despite the best efforts of my enemies.

Inspiration evades me, like a single piece of paper in a gusting wind.
I write in my head at work, and when I get home, I sit in front of the
keyboard, and stare.

Football season is here, which means glorious Sundays camped in front
of the glowing box, shouting at the morons who can’t catch the freaking
ball, and cheering on my beloved Steelers. And, another chance to win
money at work at the football pool, and obsess over my fantasy football
team. I do love this time of year.

Dennis and I excused ourselves directly after the frisbee game tonight
(during which my personal 7 game winning streak was snapped), and
engaged in a thoughtful conversation on the way home. The car seems to
be the place where we discuss issues of substance. Driving home from
church, from social stuff, from small group, we find ourselves more
thoughtful, more contemplative. At times, I wish we could find this
place more often. And at times, I am uncomfortable being that open.
Even with someone I’ve known all my life, and am more a part of than
anyone else.

The first class in three years was… weird. Like walking into a
memory. Mount Royal’s setup is much more intimate than the U (and a
mite easier to walk, though one class simplifies that), and I think I
prefer that. An English course, just to get my feet wet again. The
funny thing is, English was probably the worst of my core courses. But
we’ll see how it goes.

On an entirely unrelated note, there’s a Starbucks in our Safeway now.
With another one right across the parking lot. And the worst part of it
is, they’ll both get their buisness.

With the ‘grand re-opening’ tomorrow, we’ve had enough brass in here
recently to make the Calgary Philharmonic jealous. And the higher up
you go, the worse they get. You honestly wouldn’t believe how
condescending some of these people are, even to our management (whom I
tolerate on the best of days).

I find my patience waning at work, my mood worsening- and it’s not just
due to the pressure of the upcoming opening. The smile, the easy jokes,
the biting sarcasm that I’m known for get more and more difficult each
day. I feel the need to quit, but I wonder if that is me or God
speaking. Pray for this, as I tend to bottle up frustration, and it
seems to be coming to a simmer.

As I tend to put so eloquently: “I like days off. But I like money
too.” But I swore long ago to not let finances dictate my situation,
and I can easily find another job like this. But I imagine it ending
the same.

I look to God, and continue to wonder: What is my purpose in life? Why am I here, now?

Heh, so much for that lost inspiration, though that train of thought wandered quite the meandering path. Thanks, God.

P.S. We seem to have a blogger who’s advertising on our comments on the
BBC blogring. Should this person show up on mine, it will be deleted in
short order. I’ll research our options on that end as well, as I could
see that sort of thing getting very old, very quickly.
You know who you are.

I have no quarrel with you, but please cease and desist.

EDIT: Indiesupport has been beaten with the ban stick, and can no longer view or comment on my blog. Thanks to Ryan for the heads up.


3 thoughts on “

  1. Emmetovich

    Dave,Great thoughts. Will be praying for you about all that.And about football season, my loyalties force me to say that this is going to be one great season for the Packers.

  2. no_wings

    How on earth did you get rid of “Indiesupport”? I need it to leave.
    Don’t worry about work too much. God will sort it out if you let Him. 

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